Helping others key to this mom’s coping

Whitney Sanders’ deepest desire is to help others, especially those parenting children with developmental disabilities who are facing some of the same things she’s been through.

And she’s been through plenty. After a traumatic pregnancy and delivery, Whitney was home with two-month-old Easton. When she learned that relatives were no longer able to take care of nine-month-old Mallory, she became her legal guardian. “I wasn’t about to let her go into foster care,” said Whitney.

Mallory’s prenatal addiction to cocaine and heroin left her with brain damage that causes aggressive behavior and development disabilities. Mallory is now 15.

Over the years, Whitney learned to do whatever it takes to get the help Mallory needs.

“Following an ambulance at 3 in the morning isn’t something you expect to do as a parent,” said Whitney. But that’s what was necessary when Riley Hospital’s emergency room strongly urged residential treatment for the then-seven-year-old Mallory, and the only facility with an open bed was an hour away. It’s that kind of dedication that Whitney has displayed throughout Mallory’s life.

Years and many stops later, Mallory is now living at Damar’s main residential campus, where she’s been since May of 2024.

“It’s hard not to have my kid with me, but Damar has saved her and saved my family,” said Whitney. “They keep her safe, and now I am able to be a parent to both Mallory and my son.

Whitney gave birth to Easton after spending months in the hospital due to severe pregnancy complications. Whitney’s grandma took Mallory to the hospital every day so there was a lot of bonding time for the two of them. “I never had the bonding time with Easton that I did with Mallory,” she said.

As Mallory grew up, her aggression worsened. At 6, Easton went to live with his dad so he could be safe.

Now that Mallory is getting treatment at Damar, Easton has started to spend a week at a time at his mom’s. When Mallory’s there on weekends, she, Easton and Whitney are able to experience life as a family together and with their extended family. Mallory is learning life skills at Damar with the goal of moving to a group home.

Even before bringing Mallory into her home, Whitney had experience with kids with special needs due to her career in school transportation services. She now works from home as an insurance advocate, helping other families get the help they need.

Years of working with Mallory’s developmental pediatrician, and pursuing help through the Bureau of Disabilities Services (BDS), Medicaid, Children’s Mental Health Initiative (CMHI) and more has taught Whitney to be tenacious and learn how to navigate services.

“It’s not been easy, but I promised Mallory that her life wouldn’t be for nothing,” said Whitney. “I feel like God sends me moms and dads who are where I was, and I’ve been able to help them.”