Learning to Spread their Wings

Shirley Perez was mystified.

A few years ago, when her twin daughters Shiloh and Suri Diaz, who have autism and cerebral palsy, were 13, they suddenly started getting aggressive toward Shirley and their older sister, Isabelle. Shirley couldn’t figure out why.

“Isabelle was quiet and didn’t act out,” said Shirley. “So I didn’t know if what they were doing was typical teenager stuff or if it was behavior caused by autism or CP. I knew I needed help.”

She found that help at Damar. Four years later, Shirley says she still sees aggressive behaviors from the twins, but they’re more manageable. It helps to know some of the girls’ triggers. For example, Shiloh is bothered by loud voices, and their extended family is loud. So, to prevent the commotion of everyone talking together upsetting Shiloh, they try to keep their voices down or take her to a quieter room.

Behavior coach Jill Norton helps by picking up Shiloh and Suri from school two Fridays a month so they can go on outings. They go to the mall, play music, talk and work on establishing their independence.

“We’re working on their identities separate from Mom and separate from each other,” said Jill. “I remind them they’re individual young women, not just twins.”

Jill makes the outings fun, Shirley said, even when the girls are getting a lesson or getting reprimanded. “Jill has taken the time to learn about them and what they like,” Shirley said. “She knows how to communicate with them.”

Said Jill, “I just do what I would want for my kids. I just love on them and work on getting desired behaviors.”

Jill has personal experience with disabilities. Her two sons have autism.

Jill also brings 18-year-old Isabelle into conversations. “It’s helpful to involve Isabelle, who has often been a kind of second parent to the twin, but also important to remind her that it’s okay to be a kid sometimes,” Jill said.

It also helps to find common ground. One thing that the sisters and mom all enjoy is Disney World, where the girls’ cousin works. The twins are daredevils who ride every ride, with Shiloh’s favorite being Mine Train, while Suri loves Tower of Terror best.